You would think that at two months past my miscarriage I would be done with explaining to people that I am no longer pregnant. Unfortunately I still have people that do not know and ask me about the pregnancy. Last night was probably the worst, only not for me. I went to the salon to get my eyebrows done. The last time I was in was right before the miscarriage. Darlene came up to me and said something about me being too skinny to be pregnant. I just looked at her and said that I wasn't pregnant. She was totally confused so I had to explain what happened. I felt bad making her feel stupid. You could tell how embarrassed she was. Then there was the awkward silence that followed. Luckily we are friends and I could talk easily with her but getting past that initial part is so uncomfortable.
I can speak openly about it now without getting emotional. I do get tired of the pity looks that people give me. I know they mean well. The other thing I hate is the people that just ignore me when they do not know what to say. Honestly "I am sorry" is really all that is needed. I don't like to be the center of attention so I usually end up turning the focus on something else anyways. Just talk to me like any other person and I will be great!
I am doing fine emotionally for the most part. I have my bad times. I want to hold any new baby I can and it does make me sad to do so but I enjoy holding them. I do have to say the puppies have been great for me. I can hold and cuddle them like a baby. They are so soft and sweet. I know it is going to be hard to find homes for all of them and that this isn't going to be the easiest thing we have ever done but I am glad we have this experience. It has helped heal a broken heart!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Just a small vent
Posted by Danielle at 2:40 PM
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2 comments:
Yeah that would be hard on both parts. I have done that before and I felt horrible after asking them how their baby was. Bad bad, I'm glad that you are doing so well, I can't even imagine how hard dealing with something like that is!
I know this is totally different, but it reminded me of when I went through my divorce. I hated talking about it and and actually wanted people to find out about it through the grapevine so that I didn't have to talk about it. I would find myself in situations months later when some unsuspecting person asked a question or made a comment that would then require me to explain the change in my situation. There were many uncomfortable conversations during that time! I went back home to Indiana in May which was my first time back since I went through my divorce, remarried, etc and even then, there were a few people who were very confused that I had to give explanations to.
Like I said, I know it's a totally different circumstance, but I do feel for you! As you are trying to heal and move forward, sometimes it probably feels like you're right back at the beginning again! I am glad you are having fun with the puppies though! I am sure it's keeping you very busy!
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