Where has all the time gone

I will never catch up on all the past postings that should have been but here is a quick glimpse of the past 4 months. I am going to try and do better at blogging. That is if I can find the time!

Charlotte spent about 18 hours a day with this light for over two weeks.

Charlotte's first month was a difficult one! While she was born a pretty healthy size for 5 weeks early and didn't go in the NICU, we still had a lot of difficulties! She had very bad jaundice and ended up on a billi blanket for over two weeks. She was too sleepy to really eat well so she dropped 14 oz down to 5 lbs. We ended up putting her on formula for a few days to get the jaundice gone and then continued to supplement for a few weeks to get some weight on her. The dr said with her poor eating she should have been in the NICU. I am glad we made it without having that! Once she started gaining weight he was happy and so were we!  She mostly slept the first month of her life. She really didn't wake up much and if she did it was for a very brief time. I don't think she even opened her eyes the first week or two. Didn't help that they were very swollen.

Sleeping during Disney on Ice.  This is how she spent most of her time!

Month two went a lot more smoothly. Nursing was still a challenge and I continued to give her a bottle every night. She acted like she was starving in the evenings and I didn't have enough milk. We also had some pooping problems and got concerned when she didn't go for 9 days. We ended up having to use suppositories for a few weeks til she started getting the hang of it on her own. I don't think anyone has ever been so excited to have a baby have a blowout as I was when she finally went on her own. The kids continued to be smitten with her! Victoria was quite anxious for her to move into her room. Charlotte slept great, as long as she was in bed with me. She also didn't go to bed until midnight. Those were some exhausting days! She was still an itty bitty little thing. By two months she was finally over her birth weight and had even grown in length a little. We got her immunizations done and I don't think she had an ounce of fat for those needles to go in!  We had her blessing right before she turned two months old.  She looked adorable!

Charlotte sleeping after her blessing.  Such an angel!

The third month was good. She continued to need a bottle at night since I just didn't seem to have enough for her. She was consistently growing. She had me concerned that she wasn't smiling and making much eye contact. It has been hard to see her be behind in everything and I have to remind myself that she was born early and needs to catch up still. She did finally smile and it made my day. Although I was quite sad when her first smile wasn't at me. She gave a huge grin to my sister, BriAnne, and it was more than a week after that before she smiled at me. Charlotte was still so tiny. She was still in newborn clothes and diapers. I felt like she was never going to outgrow them!

Our first hiking adventure.  Charlotte did great and slept most of the time.
Her fourth month has just flown by and tomorrow she will be 4 months old. She sailed right out of newborn clothes and into 0-3 mo for only a couple weeks. She is around 13 pounds now. Twice she has gained a pound in a week. Nursing is finally going well. She can FINALLY go 3 hours in between feedings, I finally have enough milk, and she is sleeping almost all night in her crib. She is cooing and laughing all the time. She is quite ticklish and every time she starts to laugh she gets the hiccups. She is such a happy baby. The only time she gets upset is if she is tired or hungry. She has two different cries for those and is pretty easy to figure out. She will get mad if I have given her a tummy ache but thankfully that doesn't happen very often! The kids are still in love! Nicholas loves to give her kisses and get right in her face and talk to her. He even thought he needed to help when she was crying. I came down to him carrying her from the swing to the couch. Scared me to death! He just said that the girls can do it and he is a big boy so he can do it. He has tried picking her up once since then but is getting better. The scariest was when he thought he could feed her a bottle. She was starting to choke on it when Nathaniel noticed him. She was so upset for a really long time and wouldn't let us put her down. Nicholas didn't understand what was wrong and you could tell was very worried. Madeleine and Victoria love to hold her and get really excited when I say that they can pick her up and bring her to me. They have all been so helpful with Charlotte!

One of the girls took this and it makes me laugh!  It shows Charlotte's hair in true Afro fashion!
I love Charlotte so much and am so grateful to have her here with us. I can't wait to see what the future brings with this little bundle of pure joy!

Welcome Charlotte Grace

Our family got a wonderful Valentine's Day gift this year. Charlotte was born February 14, 2010 at 4:58 pm. She weighed in at 5 lbs 14 oz and 18 in long. We were hoping to keep her in at least 4 more days but my body had other plans. After 5 days on bed rest and taking terbuteline every 4 hours, I woke up Sunday morning to lots of blood and stronger contractions. We got my mom over to watch the kids and we headed to the hospital. I wasn't sure if I would be staying in the hospital on bedrest or having a baby. Nathaniel was sure we would be having the baby. in fact the day before he came home from the store and said he had the thought that it was time for her to come. That night I had a few stronger contractions but not consistent. The meds helped but not for the full 4 hours like they were supposed to. Before we went to bed that night, he packed a bag for the hospital.


We got to the hospital about 8 am. I told them I was only 35 weeks and they put me in a room to monitor me while they talked to the dr. I had only dilated to a 4 so not much difference from the 9th. They came in and told me I was having a baby. I had mixed feelings. While I was so happy to be done with a very long pregnancy, I wasn't prepared to be having a baby so early. Would she have problems? What was her name? I hadn't bought any diapers, her cradle wasn't put together, I didn't have an outfit that would fit her.

While I was being monitored I had a large gush that I thought was all blood but the nurse thought my water had broken. I wasn't so sure but that is what we went with. They moved me into a regular labor & delivery room and got my antibiotics started. Since I hadn't made it far enough to get tested for strep b, I had to be treated for it. I hung out in bed waiting out the four hours for the med to be in. Contractions were strong but not painful. I am very blessed during labor. Until I hit an eight/nine, the contractions are not painful, at all!


About 1 pm I was ready to try ad get things moving along so Nathaniel and I started walking the halls. I have never had to do that before but it did help. We walked down to the nicu to check it out. Seemed nice but really didn't want my baby there. I was very emotional about having the baby and wanted to cry every time I thought about the fact that she was coming.


After walking for a bit I got back in bed for a bit to finish another bag of antibiotics and be monitored for a bit. When that was finished I was ready to try the Jacuzzi tub out. That is the best way to labor and I was so glad they had it. I was hoping things would go as quickly as they had with girls. I got in and the contractions started to get a whole lot stronger and i was beginning to feel the a lot more. The nurse checked and I was an 8. I stayed in the water about 45 minutes. I figured I had to be a nine by then so I got out. Much to my dismay, I wasn't. I was an 8 1/2. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't progressing faster. I was really wishing i had not gotten out of the tub!



I was back in the bed and was starting to hurt. My nurse was fabulous! She had delivered all of hers natural and she knew exactly what to do and say to help me relax. I get horrible back labor and was dying from that. She got me on my hands and knees and gave me a big bean bag to lay on. My mom and Nathaniel rubbed my back and pushed pressure points on my feet. The nurse checked me and I was a nine but there was a nice bulging bag. No wonder the labor was going so slow! She said that was the first time she had felt the bag. She let me labor a little more and I was nearly a ten so she called the dr. I had had it be this point and wanted her out....NOW!!! The dr took about ten minutes to get there and when he got there he checked me and broke my water at the same time. He told me to push on the next contraction. it was then I remembered how painful this was going to be. I even told them "never mind, I don't want to push". Unfortunately you can't stop at that point so three very painful pushes later, a very tiny little girl was born.




They let me see her for a second and then had to suck her out and the respiratory therapist had to make sure she could breath on her own. After what seemed like forever, they gave her back to me. She was breathing fine and had great apgar scores. She didn't want to nurse and they told me that she wouldn't for a little while because she was focusing on breathing. They had to suck her out a few more times but her breathing was perfect!



When the dr checked the placenta he found a clot and said that I had a placental abruption. That explained the blood and the premature labor. Thankfully I had gotten the steroid shots and we were able to hold off until 35 weeks 3 days. Every extra day helped. She was a really good size for being so early. But compared to her 8 lb plus siblings, she was tiny!


She finally started nursing and shocked me with how strong she could suck. We would have no feeding problems with this one! Only one more thing to worry about. She had to be able to keep her body temps up. After several checks they said she was fine. There would be no nicu for us! such happy news for me!!!!

I did have to send her to the nursery while I slept that night in case she did have any breathing problems. I didn't like her being away from me but knew it was best.


The kids came up about 1 1/2 hours after Charlotte was born and they all were in love. It was fun watching them. Victoria never left her side. They were anxious to have us come home! I felt so amazing right after the delivery, I would have gone home! I have never felt so well after a delivery. I was up moving within the hour without any problems.


We finally decided during the labor that her name would be Charlotte. She is named after my grandpa's mom and her grandmother. Now the only problem was a middle name. We finally narrowed it down to Rose or Grace. We actually made the decision as we were leaving the hospital and had to turn the paperwork in.


We left the hospital when Charlotte was only 29 hours old. I couldn't believe how fast we were able to get out of the hospital. I was so grateful all the blessings we were given during all this. I am so glad we live by my family and had so many people able to help us.


Charlotte was pretty jaundice when we left the hospital so we had to take her in the next morning to the pediatrician. She wasn't pooping much and had increased her jaundice levels so we were sent home with a script for a billi blanket. She has to spend 16-18 hours a day on the lights. She also weighed in a 5 lbs 7 oz. She is so itty bitty! She is a fabulous nurser and only cries when she is hungry. still isn't pooping well but slowly getting better. As of Friday she was 5 lbs 4 oz and still very jaundice. Hopefully we will get some good news at her billi check tomorrow.



We are so smitten with this little angel! I can't get enough of loving on her and neither can the kids! She almost fits in preemie diapers and looks adorable in her preemie outfits. Thankfully my sister and my grandma got us a few outfits for her to wear. She is such a doll! We couldn't be happier!

update

Well I didn't make it home yesterday. The contractions let up for a couple of hours and then started coming more regularly again. So that meant a fun night at the hospital. At one point the contractions got to 9 min apart so the nurse gave me a dose of meds an hour early and after that everything seemed to really slow down. She gave me some ambien to sleep and I was finally able to get some sleep and only had a couple of contractions over the night. The dr said I was good to go home on strict bed rest and meds every four hours. It feels so much better to be sitting on my couch fully clothed. :)

I see the dr in his office next Wednesday and it sounds like he will take me off the meds the next day when I am 36 weeks. So hopefully we can hold off until then and then we will see if she makes her appearance. She may still have to spend a few days in the nicu if she does come at 36 weeks and I am trying to prepare emotionally for that. I never have my babies away from me from the time they are born. If they have to go for testing and bathing, nathaniel goes with them. This will be so hard if I have to leave the hospital without my baby.

Thank you for all your prayers. I truly believe they helped in keeping things good and allowing me to come home. I wasn't sure what I was going to do if I had to stay in the hospital for another week. I am really glad Madeleine is homeschooled right now. She will be such a help for me. Plus my mom and sisters are here to do what they can. Dinners will be brought in from people at church and currently my fabulous next door neighbor has the kids. We will be well taken care of!

Prayers please

This isn't the update I had planned to write. There is so much that has happened in our lives since I updated all those months ago. More than I care to write about right now. I will give you an update in this drama filled pregnancy though.



Right now I am sitting in the hospital. I have been here since 3 a.m. For those that don't remember, the baby is not supposed to come until the middle of March. Last night she thought she had different plans. I was achy and crampy all evening and just thought I over did it. I had occasional contractions that were stronger than a braxton hicks but figured they were only a couple a day so I would just mention at my appointment today. Then I woke up to a painful cramp and went to the bathroom and found I was bleeding. To make matters worse, Nathaniel left for Vegas Sunday afternoon and was to return Wed night.



So I called the dr, called my mom and then called Nathaniel. Then my mom took me to the hospital. Sure enough, I was in labor. I had already dilated to a 3 1/2. They gave me a nice dose of painful meds to stop the contractions, gave me an extremely painful dose of steroids for the baby and started an iv of antibiotics. That took the cake on pain levels. The most excruciating, rip my arm off, pain I have ever had. Natural child birth is a piece of cake compared to penicillin going straight in your veins. The terbutaline worked for about an hour and then the contractions started again so I got another dose plus an oral dose and so far that seems to be working. Nathaniel hoped on the first flight out of Vegas, hoping that it would be ok for work that he was leaving, and should be up here in an hour or so.

The dr has said I can go home if everything stays calm all day today and after I get the second dose of steroids. I will then continue taking the meds every four hours until I get to 36 weeks. At least I am not going to have to stay in the hospital (as long as my body cooperates). Bed rest at home will be a lot easier than staying here. Thankfully I have a lot of family around to help out!

So there you have it. I just hope she can stay in just a couple weeks more! We still don't even have a name for her. So if you have any suggestions, pass those on too.


Here are a couple pictures from our last u/s two weeks ago. She was estimated to be 4 pounds then so hopefully she has chunked up some!

It's a....

Today we had my 20 week ultrasound. I have been anxiously awaiting this day for a very long time! Normally I have a feeling about what the baby will be before the ultrasound but this time I didn't. I think I just never let myself think about it too much. There has been so much fear that something would go wrong again that I wouldn't let myself get attached to this baby.

Lately as I have been feeling more and more movement I am starting to relax a little. I never got a baby bump with the last pregnancy and while I did feel movements, it was nothing like the thumps I feel all day long with this one. With each day and with every strong kick I am letting my guard down more and more.

I have really been hoping for a little boy this time around. I even gave a lot of my girl clothes away. I want Nicholas to have a little buddy to pal around with. While he loves to play with his sisters there is only so much doll playing and dressing up that a boy can do. He wants someone to build and play cars with him. The girls don't want to so Nathaniel and I do. I really enjoy this kind of playing. No make believe involved! I can build buildings and run cars up and down ramps forever.

At the same time I was sad thinking I would never get to doll up a baby girl again. No more bows and dresses and baby bracelets. I wanted to use my new found sewing skills to make cute little girl things. There is only so much the girls will let me do now. They want to do their own hair and dress themselves in all sorts of combinations. There isn't much to do with boys to make them all adorable.

On top of all this I have been the most worried about birth defects. While we knew at the 14 week u/s that there wouldn't be club feet or spina bifida it didn't stop my worrying. Down Syndrome is always at the back of mind along with a gauntlet of other things. No matter what I knew if anything did show up it would be ok but worry still occupied my mind. Since going through the issues with Nicholas, I can't go in to an u/s without worry.

This morning I was being optimistic that we would go in, have a quick wait, have a perfect ultrasound, see the dr for a brief moment and head home in time to get the girls from school. The first problem came when I was the last person waiting in the waiting room. For over an hour we waited. Thankfully there was a very entertaining ghost adventures show on tv. I also realized I was not going to make it back to Midland to get Madeleine from school. I was very blessed with a sweet friend that agreed to pick her up. Phew!!!

Finally they call us back and we just happened to get the new u/s tech. She was very slow, had to keep going through her mental list of what she was supposed to look at, and did I mention slow! Finally she was done and went to get the dr. He eventually came in and started going through everything again, saying everything looked good except one thing. He pointed to some white spots in the babies belly and said that it shouldn't be white. He compared it to the hip bone and said when it is as bright as that bone then there is a bowel problem. It is called hyperechoic focus. It could be as simple as the baby swallowing blood from all my bleeding. The dr thinks this is the most likely reason. But he wanted to go over all the other possible causes. Next came the meeting with the geneticist.

I wasn't so worried about this like I was when the same thing happened with my 20 week u/s with Nicholas. I remember being so freaked out and just crying while she talked to me about what the findings meant. This time I was fine with it. Come what may! She gave me the paper on the hyperechoic focus detailing the possible causes. First on the list was a bowel obstruction requiring surgery when the baby was born. Next was Down Syndrome which the geneticist said the baby has a 1/90 chance of having. About the same odds that they gave me with Nicholas. Not a huge concern since we crossed that bridge then and I am ok with it if it happens. After that came cystic fibrosis. She said that this one isn't as much of a worry since we have three healthy kids and no family history of it. Still gave me high odds until we do the blood work to see if I am a carrier. Another possibility is maternal infection which I don't think since I haven't been sick this whole pregnancy. Outside of morning/all day sickness. I will get the blood work done to rule it out though. This all took a really long time and thankfully Laura was willing to pick up Victoria from her school too.

After 2 1/2 hours I got all the paperwork for labs, made my appt for 4 weeks out, and was on my way home. Phew! There is a lot to digest but I don't have any fear. We will survive anything just like we survived Nicholas' club feet. Whatever happens there is a reason and a way to survive! We can't wait for the second half of this pregnancy to be over and meet our new little baby!!!






And just in case you were wondering....it's a girl!

Madeleine's Baptism

Last Saturday Madeleine was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was a wonderful day. Madeleine was so excited for this day. She has been anxiously waiting ever since her birthday. There were 4 other children that turned 8 around the time Madeleine did so we had a group baptism. This has never happened in our ward before and it was a neat thing. Madeleine was especially excited because her best friend Emma was also going to be baptized.



My mom, dad, sister and her two kids were able to fly down from Utah. Nathaniel's parents came and lots of friends were there also. Madeleine had a grin from ear to ear. My dad, Papa, got to give the talk on Baptism. She loved listening to him talk to them about the choice they had made. Madeleine got to watch all of her friends get baptized and then it was her turn. You could see her mouth the words along with Nathaniel as he baptized her.



She looked so beautiful in the dress that nana and Kara got her. She had a glow about her. She loves her new scriptures and has been reading them at night before bed. She has been writing in her beautiful journal that Aunt Bri gave her. She loves everything! We are so proud of Madeleine and her decision. She is a wonderful example to her siblings!

Another pregnancy update

Well last night was an eventful night. I wasn't feeling well so I went to bed early. I woke up at midnight to a wet gush. I knew that couldn't be good so I went in to the bathroom. Sure enough there was the blood. It poured out for a minute and then I gathered all my strength and walked out to wake Nathaniel. I sat and cried and cried. Last week we had such a fabulous ultrasound and everything was looking perfect. I was beginning to have hope that everything was going to work out ok. After sobbing for a bit we woke my parents to let them know we were going to the ER. My dad and Nathaniel gave me a blessing and we headed out to the ER.

After waiting and waiting with a bunch of very sad, sick babies, it was my turn. They took blood work and then tried and tried to find a heart beat with the dopler. The nurse wasn't able to find it so out she went and we waited for the dr. He finally came in and tried again. He also couldn't find it. He thought he heard something but couldn't get it for sure. Then he did his exam and finally said the words I had been waiting for, "Let's do an ultrasound". Four hours after getting to the ER I was finally going to know for sure if my baby had died. She took me down to the room and I couldn't bring myself to look. Finally there was the baby with a heartbeat beating away. Sweet relief! However something was going on so she took a lot of pictures of everything and then said that the radiologist would look at it and get back to us.

Back to the room and an attempt to sleep. Nathaniel was able to doze a little but I couldn't sleep. I never can in hospitals. After what seemed like an eternity the dr came in and told me what was causing the bleeding. A large sub corionic hemorrhage. Really didn't explain it at all. Just said no lifting and pelvic rest. See your dr tomorrow. And then I was sent home. This morning I looked it up on the internet. My risk of miscarriage is increased because of it. It is good that I am younger than 35 and the baby is 12 weeks 4 days. Those drop the risk but the size of it increases my risks the most.

Went and saw the dr and he did another u/s and showed me the hematoma. It is definitely on the larger size. He told me that nothing I did caused this and there isn't anything I can do to stop a miscarriage if it is going to happen. We will just monitor closely. No heavy lifting, mainly that would mean Nicholas. Also back to the perinatalogist and another big u/s so they can measure it and see just how big it is. Then back to my dr in a week. I am trying to have hope and faith that everything is going to be ok. I feel peace that no matter what happens, I will be ok. I will survive what ever may come. I just sure hope that the outcome is better this time around than the last pg.